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10 Things to Know If You Want to Make Friends in Japan

10 Things to Know If You Want to Make Friends in Japan

Last updated: 16 May 2025

For many travelers, Japan is a place that draws people back again and again. It's a country known not just for its stunning scenery and rich culture, but also for the warmth and politeness of its people. In recent years, mutual goodwill between Japan and its neighbors has only grown stronger, especially among visitors who experience the hospitality firsthand.

One thing that often leaves a lasting impression on first-time visitors is how courteous and considerate Japanese people are. These manners are deeply rooted in everyday life and often begin at home from a young age. If you're hoping to make a good impression, connect more deeply with locals, or even adapt to life in Japan, learning a few of these cultural habits is a great place to start.

1. Greetings Matter: Always Say Hello, Morning to Night

1. Greetings Matter: Always Say Hello, Morning to Night

When interacting with people in Japan, it all starts with a greeting. Japanese greetings vary depending on the time of day, so it's common to say different things in the morning, afternoon, and evening. Making the effort to greet others properly shows respect and helps build good relationships.

  • Morning: “Ohayou gozaimasu”(おはようございます)– Good morning
  • Afternoon: “Konnichiwa”(こんにちは)– Hello
  • Evening: “Konbanwa”(こんばんは)– Good evening
  • Before bed: “Oyasuminasai”(おやすみなさい)– Good night

In addition to the greetings above, different situations also call for different phrases.

  • Before leaving home: “Ittekimasu”(いってきます)– I’m heading out
  • Response from someone at home: “Itterasshai”(いってらっしゃい)– Take care / See you later
  • When returning home: “Tadaima”(ただいま)– I’m back
  • Response: “Okaerinasai”(おかえりなさい)– Welcome back
  • Before eating: “Itadakimasu”(いただきます)– Said before a meal to express gratitude
  • After eating: “Gochisousama desu”(ごちそうさまです)– Thank you for the meal
  • To someone finishing work or among coworkers: “Otsukaresama desu”(おつかれさまです)– Thanks for your hard work / Good job

Also, don’t hesitate to greet your Japanese friends often—being polite and thoughtful goes a long way!

2. Learn to Tell the Difference Between Politeness (Tatemae) and True Feelings (Honne)

2. Learn to Tell the Difference Between Politeness (Tatemae) and True Feelings (Honne)

Japanese people are famously polite, especially with those they’re not close to. It’s common to hear compliments and friendly phrases like “See you next time” (またね) or “Come visit sometime” (遊びに来てくださいね), even if there’s no real intention behind them. These polite expressions—called tatemae—are just a social custom.

Don’t take them too literally or show up uninvited, or you might catch your Japanese friend off guard! If they genuinely want to meet again, they’ll usually follow up to check your schedule.

3. In Public, Direct Rejection Is Rare—Expect Gentle Refusals

3. In Public, Direct Rejection Is Rare—Expect Gentle Refusals

Compared to more direct cultures, Japanese people tend to be subtle and considerate of others’ feelings. Instead of saying "no" outright, they often use polite and indirect language to avoid discomfort or conflict.

For example, if you invite someone out and they reply with “Chotto…”(ちょっと、、、)or “Ikitai desu ga…”(行きたいですが…), it usually means they’re politely turning you down. It’s best to take the hint and not push further.

4. Learn to “Read the Air” and Go with the Flow

4. Learn to “Read the Air” and Go with the Flow

Japanese society places a strong emphasis on harmony and group dynamics. Fitting in and being considerate of others is seen as a form of politeness, which is why the ability to “read the air” (kuuki wo yomu)—or pick up on unspoken social cues—is so important.

This means paying attention to the mood and adjusting your words or actions accordingly to avoid making others uncomfortable. Those who can’t do this are often called “KY” (short for kuuki yomenai, or someone who can’t read the air). To build good relationships in Japan, avoid being the odd one out by staying in tune with your surroundings.

5. Don’t Say “Huh?!” When You Don’t Understand—It Can Sound Aggressive

5. Don’t Say “Huh?!” When You Don’t Understand—It Can Sound Aggressive

In some cultures, saying “Huh?!” or “Eh?!” is a casual way to ask someone to repeat themselves. But in Japan, blurting out “Haa?!”(はぁ?!)can come across as rude or confrontational, as it’s often used during arguments.

If you don’t catch what someone said, it’s better to respond politely with something like “Sumimasen, mou ichido onegaishimasu”(すみません、もう一度お願いします)– “Sorry, could you say that again?” This avoids misunderstandings and keeps the mood friendly.

6. Japanese Women Usually Don’t Link Arms or Hold Hands with Friends

6. Japanese Women Usually Don’t Link Arms or Hold Hands with Friends

In some countries, it's common for close female friends to link arms or hold hands while walking together. However, in Japan, even best friends typically avoid this kind of physical contact.

This isn’t just about habit—Japanese people tend to be more conscious of personal space and how they’re perceived by others. So if you’re used to walking arm-in-arm with friends, it’s best to hold back in Japan, as it may come off as surprising or make someone feel uncomfortable.

7. Pointing at People with Your Index Finger Is Considered Rude

7. Pointing at People with Your Index Finger Is Considered Rude

In casual conversation, many people naturally point with their index finger to show emotion, emphasize a point, or respond to a question. But in Japan, pointing directly at someone can be seen as disrespectful or condescending.

It’s a gesture best avoided, especially in public or formal settings. Instead, use an open hand or subtle gesture if you need to indicate someone.

8. Splitting the Bill Is the Norm—There’s No Culture of Fighting to Pay

8. Splitting the Bill Is the Norm—There’s No Culture of Fighting to Pay

In some cultures, it’s common for friends to treat each other or insist on paying the bill. But in Japan, the usual practice among friends is warikan(割り勘)—splitting the bill evenly.

It’s not about being unfriendly; it’s a way of showing mutual respect and keeping things balanced. So don’t be surprised if everyone just pays their share without any fuss.

9. At Karaoke, Be a Good Listener—It’s About Respect, Not Just Fun

9. At Karaoke, Be a Good Listener—It’s About Respect, Not Just Fun

In some places, karaoke is all about singing your heart out while others chat or snack on the side. But in Japan, karaoke is a group activity where being a good listener matters just as much as singing.

When someone is performing, it’s polite to give them your attention instead of chatting or eating. Don’t skip ahead, interrupt, or cut someone’s song short—this shows respect. Japanese karaoke sessions often go in a one-song-per-person rotation so everyone gets a fair turn.

10. Be Careful with Gift Numbers—Avoid 4, 9, and Combs

10. Be Careful with Gift Numbers—Avoid 4, 9, and Combs

Gift-giving customs in Japan are quite different from those in some cultures where even numbers are seen as lucky. In Japan, odd numbers like 3, 5, and 7 are considered more auspicious, while even numbers—except for 8—are often avoided. When giving money, always use an odd number, as it symbolizes unity. Even numbers can imply separation or splitting.

Also, avoid giving gifts with the number 4 (associated with “death”) or 9 (linked to “suffering”). Never gift a comb either—its pronunciation in Japanese (kushi) includes the sounds for “pain” (ku) and “death” (shi), making it an unlucky item.

The close friendship between Japan and many neighboring countries often inspires visitors to show warm, enthusiastic hospitality when interacting with Japanese friends. However, it's important to keep in mind that Japanese culture places great value on personal space—often referred to as the “beauty of distance.”

Crossing that subtle boundary, even with the best intentions, can sometimes make people feel uneasy. Being aware of this cultural nuance helps build more comfortable and respectful relationships.

*This information is from the time of this article's publication.
*Prices and options mentioned are subject to change.
*Unless stated otherwise, all prices include tax.

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