"When in Rome, do as the Romans do" - it's an old adage that rings true when you spend enough time in a place. Even foreign residents in Japan can start to feel like they've become Japanese after a while.
So, we sat down with an Italian living in Japan to talk about their perceptions of Japanese people and the moment they realized they had started to resemble them.
Japanese people often have a reputation for being diplomatic and good at communicating their feelings, but what does our Italian friend think of them? We also asked about their observations of unique Japanese manners and customs. (Please note that all comments are the personal opinions of the interviewee).
main image:PIXTA
Bit shy but hardworking
"Japanese people have the image of being very shy and hardworking. I don't think they often express their opinions."
When I asked an Italian about their image of Japanese people, this was the answer I received. It might be "just as I thought" for Japanese people.
It seems that there is an image of Japanese people being "shy" and "rarely expressing opinions", which differs from the Italian attitude of clearly expressing their own opinions and the reasons behind them even if they are different from others.
Furthermore, as often heard, Japanese people also have the image of being "hardworking". Although workstyle reforms are being advanced in Japan, it still seems to be depicted as hardworking from the Italian perspective. Of course, even as workstyles diversify, maintaining a serious attitude of focusing and working hard is something that Japanese people would like to keep as part of their national identity.
There are times when the conversation ball doesn't continue
"What I think is peculiar to Japanese behavior is the lack of skinship."
From a Japanese perspective, many might perceive Italians as being close to one another, but it seems that the opposite is also true. In Italy, hugs and kisses on the cheeks may be common as greetings, so compared to these, Japanese people may feel overwhelmingly little skinship.
Additionally, from an Italian viewpoint, there seem to be some unique behaviors in how Japanese people communicate. For instance, "Japanese people may not always reciprocate in conversation. For instance, in a conversation like, 'Do you like sushi?' 'Yes, I do. Do you?' The Japanese person may simply answer 'Yes' without asking the other person their opinion. This seems strange to me."
Although there may be individual differences, it seems that Japanese people are perceived as having short conversations. The tendency not to ask questions may be related to the shyness commonly associated with Japanese people.
However, just as a conversation is like a game of catch, it's important to ask questions during a conversation. Especially when cultures and languages are different, there should be many opportunities to ask questions. Asking the same question that was asked of you is an easy way to keep the conversation going, so it's a technique worth trying regardless of the person's nationality.
Being great at greetings with a natural, unforced smile
"Japanese people bow a lot and smile as a courtesy. I think that movement is very sophisticated and wonderful."
The Japanese are famous worldwide for being very polite, but it seems that "bowing" is also seen as a way of showing courtesy in Japan. Smiling often was also favorably accepted as a kind of courtesy.
Indeed, compared to other countries, smiling may be perceived more often at supermarket checkout counters and when serving customers at restaurants. In addition, some interviewees said that the "movements were very sophisticated," so it seems staff did not appear to be pretentious in any manner when it comes to smiling and bowing, and their actions were genuine.
Working on the train, on the go, anywhere
Even if at first you may feel uncomfortable with the unique behavior of the Japanese, you may find yourself behaving in a similar manner while living in Japan. What are the experiences of Italians who actually live in Japan?
"A moment I feel like I've turned Japanese is when I work too much. Japanese people seem to do work on the train, on the go, anywhere. I also tend to work whenever I have time."
It is true that many people in Japan work whenever they have a little time. It seems that when people around them do so, they are gradually influenced by it.
I'm humbled by compliments
"When I am praised, I sometimes feel somewhat confused, and then I think, 'Oh, that's very Japanese somehow.' When Japanese people receive compliments, they do not say thank you in a straightforward manner, but, instead, show humility, so I think it is similar to that."
It may be a peculiar Japanese behavior to be humble when praised. We often encounter such situations in our daily lives, and often do not accept compliments directly. In terms of conversation, other moments that resemble the Japanese were also mentioned.
"I nod my head when I hear what the other person has to say. When you are listening to what the other person is saying, you nod your head and listen with interjections like 'yeah' or 'uh-huh.' In Italy, I often give vocalizations to show I'm following, but I rarely nod my head. For this reason, a friend once pointed this out to me."
For Japanese people, vocal interjections and nodding seem to go together as a set, but in Italy it seems to be less common. Interjections and nodding in conversation are also common situations encountered in daily life, so it seems that they are still easily influenced.
In conversation, a good nod is an effective way of communicating that you are listening carefully to what the other person is saying. Interjections and nodding during conversation also convey concern for the other person and can be considered a form of Japanese courtesy.
Soaking in a bath
"I also feel this when I am mastering the use of chopsticks when eating a meal. I like Japanese food very much, so I naturally learned to use them well while eating. I also feel I'm turning Japanese somehow when I soak in the bath. In Italy, due to the higher cost of water, most families do not use a bathtub but instead take a shower. But when I soak in a bathtub filled with hot water like the Japanese do, I feel relaxed and very comfortable."
Living in Japan, people have many opportunities to use chopsticks. Many people seem to be able to use chopsticks naturally without difficulty.
In addition, the Japanese approach to bathing seems popular among Italians and other foreigners. Dwellings in other countries may not only have a shower, but a bathtub as well, but enjoying a daily soak is something many people cannot stop once they experience it.
Perhaps a long soak is a typical way for Japanese people to relax after working hard at work. But bathing at home isn't where many Japanese stop: if you can extend your trip a little and go to an onsen (hot spring), you can experience one of the authentic aspects of Japanese culture.
The behaviors and conversational aspects our respondents experienced living in Japan were very positive. It is nice to be exposed to Japanese culture and see people adapt its elements of it to their own lives.
Even when we live in another new place, what we have learned along the way will surely be helpful. If you cherish the opportunity for cross-cultural communication and consider it as a chance to learn more about yourself in the process, you may find that your everyday life will take on a slightly different hue.
This article has been edited from the original version published in May 2020.
Interviews & Writing: Dali Corporation
*Prices and options mentioned are subject to change.
*Unless stated otherwise, all prices include tax.
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