"When I first came to Japan, the biggest shock was how kind Japanese people are. Their customer service is filled with a uniquely Japanese spirit of hospitality."

The concept of valuing harmony and showing consideration for others has long been a part of Japanese culture. This is the essence of omotenashi—a spirit of selfless hospitality that also drew attention during the final presentation for Tokyo’s 2020 Olympic bid. It seems this Italian man was truly impressed by it.

"For example, even if I leave a store without buying anything, the staff still smile and say 'thank you.' That might be normal for Japanese people, but I’ve never experienced that kind of service in any other country. And no matter how tired they might be, they never show it. That constant thoughtfulness toward others is truly worthy of respect."

The phrase “kuuki wo yomenai” (literally “can’t read the air”) became a popular buzzword in 2007, often shortened to “KY.” But for this Italian man, the concept behind it was hard to grasp.

“When I first heard the expression ‘read the air,’ I had no idea what it meant. Italians don’t have a sense like that at all.”

Of course, the “air” in question isn’t the physical atmosphere. It refers to the unspoken mood or shared sense of the situation in a particular setting.

“In Japan, people don’t immediately say what they’re thinking during conversations. You’re expected to read the other person’s emotional state and situation before choosing your words.”

Just like Prince Shotoku’s saying, “Harmony is to be valued,” Japanese culture prizes social harmony. For someone from a more individualistic culture like Italy, it might be a tough concept to fully understand.

“People in Europe, including Italy, usually express their thoughts directly. For example, they clearly show their love to someone they care about. But Japanese people don’t put their feelings of affection into words. They tend to use indirect expressions. If someone says, ‘I want to eat the breakfast you make every day,’ an Italian woman might not even realize it’s a marriage proposal!”

In Japan, there is a culture of “kotodama” — the belief that words have spiritual power and can influence reality. For example, in the ancient poetry collection Manyoshu, the word “death” is never used directly when mourning the dead; instead, people use euphemisms like “to hide” or “to scatter.” While there are various theories, it seems that Japanese people have long been rooted in the idea of avoiding direct speech.

"In Japanese restaurants, in summer you’re served cold water and a wet towel, and in winter, warm tea and a wet towel. Is there any other country that offers such a service?"

He seemed shocked by this high level of service. In Japan, high service quality is standard regardless of the price. Even at budget-friendly places like beef bowl shops or conveyor belt sushi restaurants, foreigners are often surprised by the level of hospitality.

"I was also surprised that water is free. Maybe it’s because Japan is known as a ‘water country,’ or maybe it’s another expression of the spirit of hospitality. By the way, in Japan, even restrooms are free to use! You probably won’t find a country anywhere else in the world that offers such thorough service."

In Japan, it’s standard to be served free water at restaurants. If a place didn’t offer this, it would quickly get a bad reputation, with people wondering what’s wrong with the restaurant.

“Italians will simply say no if they don’t want to go when invited. Everyone has the right to refuse. But Japanese people really can’t say no. Even if they don’t drink or are tired and want to go home early, it seems like refusing a work-related drinking party is not allowed. Japanese society must be strict about hierarchy… Maybe they fear disturbing harmony by saying no.”

In Japan, it’s hard to turn down an invitation from a boss to go drinking. Plus, it’s not just individual invitations—there are welcome parties, farewell parties, celebrations, year-end parties, New Year parties—the list of workplace drinking events seems endless. For those who don’t like alcohol or socializing, it can be stressful, but refusing might harm their work relationships, so they end up reluctantly attending.

However, lately, more young people seem to refuse work-related drinking parties without hesitation. Perhaps Japanese attitudes are gradually changing.

“Italy focuses on producing large quantities of fruit, which makes them affordable. On the other hand, Japan seems to prioritize producing delicious, high-quality fruit. I’ll never forget the shock I felt the first time I ate one of Japan’s famous apples! But when it comes to tomatoes, Italy is still the best!!”

Japanese apples are not only tasty but also large and visually appealing. They’re something Japan can truly be proud of. However, a problem is that fruit consumption in Japan is on the decline. It’s a shame, considering such wonderful fruit is available.

By the way, while this is more about vegetables than fruit, the Italian tomato known as the “golden apple (pomodoro)” is consumed at a rate of about 50 kilograms per person per year. In Italy, it’s common for households to make their own tomato sauce. Japan, where fruit consumption is dropping, could certainly learn from this tradition.

In Japan, the moment you enter a store, you’re always greeted with “Irasshaimase!” (Welcome!). For Japanese people, this is just a normal part of service, but foreigners are often surprised. Especially if they don’t understand Japanese, they might not know what’s being said and think, “Did I do something wrong!?” I even asked, “What happened?” the first time someone said “Irasshaimase!” to me.

Whether it’s a convenience store or a restaurant, you hear “Irasshaimase!” when you enter, and “Arigatou gozaimashita!” (Thank you very much) when you leave. This has become a standard procedure, but it also comes from the spirit of “omotenashi” (hospitality). Interestingly, it also helps prevent crime. According to the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department, being greeted like this tends to reduce the desire to do something bad.

“In Germany, where I live now, dozing off in class is taboo. If a teacher catches you sleeping, you might not even get credit for the course. In Japan, sleeping during class isn’t exactly allowed either, but you won’t be punished. Getting into a Japanese university is really difficult, but once you’re in, it’s like you have a grace period of four years before entering society. Sometimes, you can even graduate without studying much — that’s pretty amazing.”

Once students enter university in Japan, many tend to think they don’t need to attend classes regularly. Most just want to get through university life as easily as possible. In fact, even politicians in the Japanese parliament have been caught dozing off — so maybe Japan is a pretty tolerant country after all!?

“In Europe, people rarely use coins when shopping. It’s a credit card culture, so counting out small coins is a hassle. Plus, if you take too long with coins, you’re holding up the people waiting behind you.”

Although Japan is a developed country, many stores still don’t accept credit cards. Even in popular tourist spots and train ticket machines, credit card compatibility remains limited. Cash remains king here.

That said, some find using coins charmingly Japanese.
“In Japan, there are donation boxes by the register where you can put your spare change. This idea might reflect the Japanese attention to small thoughtful details.”

“Japanese people are very strict about time, but Italians are okay with being about an hour late.”

In Italian society, delays are common. Trains, buses, and postal services running late happen regularly, so there might be less guilt associated with being late. Anyone riding Japanese trains—where even a one-minute delay prompts an apology announcement—would surely be surprised.

There are also differences in how Italians and Japanese interact with others.
“Japanese people tend to be shy around strangers, but Italians can become friends from the moment they meet. When it comes to the opposite sex, Japanese people are very reserved. Italian men? Just like everyone imagines them to be!” (laughs)

Being made aware of these differences makes one appreciate Japan’s unique qualities even more. It’s heartwarming to know that the everyday things Japanese people take for granted can deeply impress foreign visitors. We hope to continue passing on the spirit of ‘omotenashi’ (hospitality) into the future.

Written by: Yoko