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'So That Was Taboo...' 10 Well-Intentioned (But Awkward) Gifts Foreigners Received From Friends in Japan

Last updated: 30 October 2020

One thing that many countries have in common is the giving and receiving of gifts. You'd be hard pressed to find a person anywhere who wouldn't be pleased by such a heartfelt gesture. What's not so common, however, is what is considered appropriate to give as a gift, and in certain cultures, some of these heartfelt gestures might be seen as downright rude.

Today, we interview foreigners living in Japan who share their experiences of times they received "shocking gifts from Japanese friends." They explain about various items that are considered religious or bad luck in their country, and not acceptable as gifts.

If you're visiting Japan and receive an inappropriate gift - the likelihood is it was just a misunderstanding! To avoid any miscommunication, let's have a look at what shocks visitors had, so you can be prepared if the same happens to you.

(The following commentaries are the personal opinions of the respondents.)

"One time, I received alcohol on my birthday, but I can't drink since I'm Muslim. Most Indonesians who are born in Indonesia are Muslim, but I guess my friend didn't know." (Indonesia/Age 30/Male)

"I got some canned goods from a friend, but the food inside had beef in it. But I practice Hinduism. One of our basic rules is that we don't eat beef." (Nepal/20s/Male)

"Once, a coworker of mine visited a temple, and brought me a Buddha keychain as a souvenir. There are many devout Buddhists in Thailand, however it is considered taboo to receive a Buddha from another person. The reason is because it is a temple item, and something one should buy on their own when they visit the temple in person. Otherwise, you don't share that spiritual connection with it. For us, it's common sense." (Thailand/20s/Female)

Because Japan is not a very religious country, many people may be unaware of the taboos of other religions. If you visit another country, people might not be aware of the religions and customs where you're from.

"My Japanese boyfriend asked me if I wanted a pair of shoes for my birthday, but I had to say no. We don't give shoes as gifts to our lovers in Korea. There's a superstition that says if you give someone a pair of shoes, that person will walk away from you." (Korea/20s/Female)

"I was shocked when some of my coworkers told me 'Happy birthday' the day before my actual birthday! In Germany, birthdays are very important to us. But celebrating it before the actual day is taboo. There are a few superstitions such as that it is bad luck to do so, and that celebrating early might bring about an early death. Nobody celebrates before the day." (Germany/30s/Female)

It seems there are taboos related to not just gift-giving, but also to celebration! I guess if you're close enough for them to know your birthday, you're close enough to explain your culture around birthday wishes too.

Just as in Japan, there are certain items that represent funeral imagery and are therefore taboo and considered bad luck in other countries, as well.

"In Vietnam, towels are used at funerals, and would never be given to someone as a gift. I was surprised at how common they are as gifts in Japan. Even I've received a few as gifts from my Japanese friends before." (Vietnam/40s/Female)

"I received a table clock as a wedding gift. I think most Chinese people would be surprised. This is because the Chinese phrase for 'to give a clock' (送钟, sònɡ zhōnɡ) has the same pronunciation as the expression, 'saying goodbye to one who has passed' (送终, sònɡ zhōnɡ). Because of this, we would never give it to someone as a present." (China/30s/Male)

"I got a bouquet of flowers at a company farewell party, and was surprised to find white lilies mixed in. In the UK, white lilies are often used at funerals, so they have that image attached to them." (UK/30s/Male)

White flowers, and not strictly just lilies, are often used as offerings to the dead, so it is understandable why they might be considered inauspicious. Similar to how chrysanthemums are offered when visiting a grave in Japan, not all flower bouquets are acceptable as gifts. So this goes both ways - if you're giving flowers to someone in Japan, perhaps just do a quick check if that's really wise...

"New Year's cards on New Year's Day. In India, we celebrate the Hindu New Year, Diwali, more than the Gregorian calendar's New Year. But we don't exchange cards. The first time I got a New Year's Card in Japan, I was surprised but very happy!" (India/20s/Male)

"I was happy when I got an amulet from a shrine. I'm not a Buddhist, but I was touched to get such a heartfelt gift." (Canada/20s/Female)

New Year's cards and good luck charms are really nice Japanese gifts. Even though religious beliefs may differ, it is nice to receive such thoughtful and heartfelt gifts from a friend.

Depending on the circumstances, there are certain items that, when given as presents to people of foreign cultures, may be considered rude. Whatever the case, it's good to remember that cultures differ around the world, and a simple explanation goes a long way!

Written by: Ran Tanaka